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De corazon latino, aunque tengo cara de gringo

Jan. 20th, 2003 | 09:46 am
mood: okayokay

I'd like to be overly dramatic and say there was nothing for me in Bolivia since the love of my life went off to Japan, but thats only one factor. Big thing is money. Also, another factor: I had started snorting cocaine. Almost daily. Smoked it once or twice. I figured I'd be better off to get away before things got worse.

However, once I got here, I picked up a Reader's Digest(I think I've learned more from that magazine than from high school). There I read an article on methamphetamine, or Speed. It turns out that what I was snorting was Speed, and not coke afterall. The dealers back in Santa Cruz have everybody thinking its cocaine, when its actually something they can whip up at home with common household items. Talk about good business.

The stuff is really bad for you. I lost a lot of weight, to the point where my mom got worried, though she had no clue as to why. Thank God. And the effect isn't as good, either. Makes you paranoid, aggresive. Won't ever do it again.
I sent an email to a friend back home, hopefully he'll quit too, and spread the word.

American girls are odd. And to top it off, since I got here a week ago, I've only seen one that I'd call attractive.

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Frigidness...

Jan. 18th, 2003 | 07:40 am
mood: excitedexcited
music: Nothing. I'm in a library

I'm now in Cedarville, Ohio(of all places to be when you travel to the US).

Cold as hell(ain't that an ironic saying?). I'm used to the tropical Bolivia climate, and now I'm stuck in temperatures below freezing, and snow all over. Oh well. Gotta find a job soon, but only a temporary one. Hopefully I'll be able to move off to Missouri with my cousin and her boyfriend once I've got some cash saved up. I think. We'll see.

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Continued......

Nov. 21st, 2002 | 12:40 am
mood: okayokay
music: Faithless - God is a DJ

Well, I'm not writing about fucking girls or getting high today.

Indeed, I gave all my stash to Shambinio yesterday. Been smoking three times a day, so figured might be good to lay off a bit, and only do it when I go over to his place or go out. I ended up scraping out the box where I keep old pipes sometimes, and found just enough for a pipeful. Being sober is overrated. Actually, my motivation for stopping for a weed is more cuz I'm growing too much resistance to the stuff. Doesn't do the same effect to me as it used to. Anyhow, that was just a side commentary.

Cecilia. I'm after her again. She seems to be the only girl I've constantly liked up to this day. I've known her longer than I knew Jenny. Longer than I've known most of my friends. But thats only in a time frame, because we only recently have really been talking. She's interesting. Intelligent. And she really does like me. I went to her house today. Thats something I have'nt done for a while now: go to a girl's house. I think it was good to go. I think she would be good for me. We'll see.

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Indeed...

Nov. 1st, 2002 | 03:01 pm
mood: highhigh
music: DJ Tiesto - Eternity

Just wanted to make a pot in my poor, neglected live journal. Let me describe my situation right now.

I am sitting in the computer room of my house, alone. The only thing I hear is the rave music in my ear phones. I've downloaded some really great mp3s off #mp3. I'm wearing my prefered jeans-and-t-shirt style, and sitting in a chair that, while not being the most comfortable around, does the job without making one feel uncomfortable. You can't ask much more out of a comuter chair. The weather isn't too hot, or too cold. There's a bit of breeze coming through the window, hitting my back. I'm jiggling my legs in the constant manner that I often do when I'm feeling a bit restless or something. My eyes are half closed, and red. I must do something about that.

I'm also chatting with a girl from the university. I hope to fuck her soon, before I head back to the US.

I'm high, ladies and gentlemen. Its 3:10, and I have to get a shower, and go to Equipetrol and get paid before I get to work at 5:00. Should be an adventure.

I wonder if anyone reads this anymore. My journal posts seem to be the kind that no one reads to the end. They just see the silly little picutre of my, and scroll on past the entry. Yup.

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Talk to me....

Oct. 21st, 2002 | 01:39 pm
mood: calmcalm
music: The Ramones - I wanna be Sedated

I haven't gotten a comment posted on my journal for some time. Thats a bit depressing to me right now. Ah, well.

Today I went to class. This morning when I woke up, I found the sky was terribly black. The rain began just as I was arriving to the university building.

We were supposed to make a presentation in groups about how the head and face is formed in the uterus, but hardly anybody showed cuz of the rain. We got out early from class, and I headed on back home, sloshing through the puddles. On the way home, I stopped by a pharmacy, and bought some of those eye drops that make red eyes white.

I went on to my house. No one was home but the maid, and I just got out my ganja, and had some before lunch. I played around on the net for a while, and chatted with this girl from the university, who apparently likes me.

Ate lunch very happily. Made myself a very good cup of coffee and came back to enjoy it while listening to my mp3s and playing on the net.

And thats what I'm doing now. Writing in my neglected webjournal while coming down from a nice little ride in the sky. Right now I'm feeling very relaxed. Peaceful, without a worry in the world. My computer room is so cozy, and all of my senses seem to be stimulated at a greater degree than normal. I feel more an observer than a participant in this world's happenings.

Zombie Nation makes some good music, by the way, if you're into Rave music.

I feel the need for a candy. I will get one from my pocket.
Aha! Its a 'Tropical' candy. Apple flavored. Green. The flavor seems quite strong, awakening my taste buds. Wait, my mouth seems sore. But why? The Gatta didn't bite me on Saturday night. Ah, what a good night that was.
Actually the wrapper for this Tropical candy is pretty cool. Never really noticed it before.
2:30 pm. I have to be at work at 4. Damn.

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Here we go...

Oct. 11th, 2002 | 12:57 am
mood: highhigh
music: Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Things change so quickly. Well, not so quickly, considering how long its been since I last wrote in my journal. My internet use has been on a decline for a while now. I only get on to check my email, chat a bit on #weed in irc, and once in a while check out my friends journals(thanks to
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<href ="http://www.livejournal.com/users/futuregirl">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Things change so quickly. Well, not so quickly, considering how long its been since I last wrote in my journal. My internet use has been on a decline for a while now. I only get on to check my email, chat a bit on #weed in irc, and once in a while check out my friends journals(thanks to <href ="http://www.livejournal.com/users/futuregirl">futuregirl</a> for always having something interesting to read). This leaves little time for writing updates, since my time lately has mostly been spent out of my house. And here comes the tale of why.........

Well, all was just normal for me until the Feria at my university. That was a few weeks ago. My routine before this was on the dull side. Get up, go to school, hang with my classmates a bit, and then go home, where I would waste my afternoon watching TV or on the internet doing nothing. Then, go to work, and try to find something to do afterwards. IE, go to the plaza, come home. Or, go to Erika's house, before that. Ah, what happened to Erika, you ask? Well, pretty much, I got bored with her. She was just too ditsy and ridicious to me. So I broke up with her. After that terrible happening, came the aformentioned routine, and then the Feria.

I am in the first year of Dentistry(its a five-year program). Well, one of my classmates, Hernan, had a couple of friends from third year. One of these was.....

You know, I just realized I don't want to detail how I met new girls and new friends. Its not really important. In a nutshell, I had sex with two girls, I have some new Brasilian friends, and a bunch of other girls didn't behave how I wanted them to.

Anyways..... Jenny is back in town. She's my ex who went to Japan, the only one I've ever really felt anything for. I called her, and asked her to come back with me, even though she's going back to Japan next month. She thought it wouldn't be a good idea.

Now I feel....... different. Alone. Very alone. And I feel like becoming more reserved, closing myself up to the world and staying in my house mostly. I want to not pay attention to girls. To not need one. I need to spend more time reading, doing exercise, and studying. I hate the fact that I cannot spend a day in peace if I don't have some girl to chase after.

And yet, even as I say this, there is another girl popping into my head. She seems to me as someone who will be different and better for me than the rest. Just as I have thought about all the rest. Paola.

I find comfort in only one thing. That forbidden herb.

And she does too.

NIGHTTIME ADDITION:
Silvia continues calling me. Our relationship is odd. I can do what I want, and yet do whatever I want with Silvia, almost.

And the cycle continues.....

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Posting time

Sep. 8th, 2002 | 02:38 pm
mood: awakeawake
music: Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst - Outside

I'm overdue in posting again.

I'm sitting in the small office room of my family's upstairs apartment in the church where we are living. There's a lot of light in here. The glare on the screen is annoying, but there are no curtains to fix that with. I'm too lazy to do anything about it anyhow.

I just got tired of listening to the radio on my walkman, and now am turning on my MP3s. I really do love my collection.

Well, things with Silvia didn't turn out. She just couldn't deal with the fact that I smoke weed. I was pretty stupid in telling her so early, and stupider in the way that I told her.
Two weeks I was with her.

Shortly after that, a girl I had met in the plaza showed up as a student in the NLC. She had always liked me. I got hooked up with her within a week, and lasted two weeks with her. I broke up. She was just too ditsy, too young.

Now, I'm currently doing pretty well. Single, and ok with that, pretty much. This week was the Science Fair at my university. I was like a tour guide, kinda, but most of the time I was just flirting with the girls. I met two in particular: Noelia, a girl from 4th year that I have always liked, and Quezia, a girl from third year that speaks English and wants to have sex with me.

Noelia is 21, and lives alone. Very attractive in a quiet, sort of exotic kinda of way. We'd get along well. She likes me as well, but will take some time to win completely.

Quezia is another story. She's Brazilian. 20. She's cute, and has a lot in common with me. Christian parents, foreigner, adventurous. She said she wants to smoke weed with me as well. But the odd thing about her is that she don't want to get hooked up. She just wants to have fun, without anyone finding out. Thats cool for me. Well, beyond cool. Its any man's dream. During the Fair we were making out at every free time when there was nobody watching.

There's a third woman in my life, as well, and she's the most likely to take a serious part in my life.
Her name is Silvia, just as my ex, but she's from Colombia, so we'll call her Colombiana from now on. She's a student of mine from the NLC, and she is incredibly beautiful. She gets the attention of every male around her. Colombiana is a very nice girl. She is very well mannered. She has a truck. She seems to like me, but is also one that may take some time to win. The only problem I can see with her is that she is a lot more high-class and refined than I am, but I think she's good enough at adjusting. I think I may ask her to be my girlfriend later today, if all goes well.

I must pee.

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Ah, well

Aug. 6th, 2002 | 03:54 pm

No comments to my journal in a while. Kinda depressing.

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A little detail

Aug. 4th, 2002 | 07:47 pm

Things are quite well with Silvia. I was with her till 1 last night.

I forgot to post earlier about this. But last weekend I was high, and decided to get a piercing in my lip. A little metallic ball. My parents don't like it, but oh well. It makes me look more like a want to look, and makes me look a bit different at work, wearing a dress shirt, tie, and with this thing sticking out my lip.

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How you remind me

Jul. 28th, 2002 | 12:34 pm
mood: contentcontent
music: Nirvava - Smells like Teen Spirit

Looking at my most recent post, I see again how overly-dramatic I am. Of course, it makes more sense once you take into account that most of the time that I make a post, I'm pretty messed up, and just typing out my feelings helps. But knowing that doesn't keep me from shaking my head a little when I read over my journal.

Anyway, if my last post was the ending of a chapter of my life(I'd say it was more of a page than a chapter now), then yesterday was the beginning of a new one.

Met a girl named Silvia at a dinner that Javier took me to last Friday. I'm thinking about moving out and getting an apartment with Javier, but thats another story. Anyhow, saw her at a party as well the day after, and have been calling her this week. Last night we went out to the Irish Pub(a really great place, btw. nice atmosphere. Exactly like I imagien a real Irish pub to be like). We both had a great time, and it ended up that I have a new girlfriend. All rather whirlwind and romantic. Not my general sort of style. But she seems to be a lot better for me than Jenny. A good girl. Major plus as well that her dad doesn't live with her, and he's a cool guy anyway. Stayed in her house till 3 am last night.

I even told her before we got hooked up about my bad habits and vices. Kinda disappointed her a lot when she heard that I'm a bit of a druggie, but she'll either get over it, or I will. She'll be a good influence, just because of the fact that the time I'm with her I can't be with my more questionable friends.

The only flaw I can find with her is that she tends to talk too much, but thats not such a big flaw for me, considering I'm more of a listener than a talker anyway. She's concious of it, too. Pretty much, she's everything I needed. Jenny will become less and less of a memory in my head.

For some reason, Jenny called last night while I was out with Silvia. She hasn't called me in over a month. I think she was supposed to be going to Japan yesterday, and maybe she wantd to say goodbye. But it doesn't really affect me either way. Even if she begged me to get back with her, I wouldn't anymore. Like I told her, she had her chance, and she humbled me more than anyone else has. She won't ever have that chance again, and she'll regret it someday.

I'm surprised how dependent of a person I am. I can't really be at peace unless I have a girlfriend, it seems. Now I'm just fine. Everything seems nicer, and I have more desire to suceed and be good, etc.

Ah, well, that seems like a good enough post.

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